Birth

Birth

Welcome to the jungle! Our beloved baby Abby is finally here! She was born on 26 May 2019 at 23:57pm, and we were quite surprised that she weigh 3.2kg and measured 50cm at birth. My wife is actually quite petite and she weigh about 58kg (she used to weigh only 43kg) when she gave birth to Abby, thus we thought that Abby might fall below 3kg at birth. The expected due date (EDD) was actually 27 May 2019 but Abby was 3 minutes early then. One interesting thing to note is that my wife did not felt incredibly overwhelmed by the pain during the entire process. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that there is no pain at all but we were expecting for the worst, at least from what we had read and heard from many mothers. I will come back to the pain later, but let's take a few steps backwards to when we first checked in to the hospital. It was 3:30pm when we reached Thomson Medical Centre, and we were then ushered to the observation ward prior to the delivery suite. The observation ward was segregated in such a way that there are 3 beds (which were separated by the curtain tracks) and we happened to be assigned the last corner bed. My wife then changed into the hospital-issued delivery gown and I was advised to make the necessary registration at the lobby before returning back to the observation ward again. I have also decided to place my order for dinner (Upsized!) via Foodpanda at the same time as I know that this is going to be a long night (neither did I expect Abby to be born before midnight!). By then, the nurse had also started to ask my wife if she want to have dinner soon - a tell tale sign that we would be proceeding to the delivery suite in less than 1-2 hours time. As expected, we proceeded to the delivery suite by 8pm after we had finished our dinner (and 1 pineapple fruit) at the observation ward.

After settling down for a while at the delivery suite, the nurses subsequently asked us a few standard questions, some of which include the pain relief options available. My wife staunchly said no without any hesitation. She was quite firm and pretty sure that she is not going to opt for any medical pain relief intervention (other than laughing gas) in the process. Of course I supported her decision, as we had also discussed this in depth while thinking of the birth plan (not detailed but good enough for us to make swift decisions when it comes). Everything went according to plan, and I had also put on the socks for her when we entered into the delivery suite so that she feels warm and comfortable during the time spent in the delivery suite. Since then, her contractions has started to kick in and it was not until 9pm when the pain was getting more excruciating. I reminded her to focus on her breathing every now and then whenever I felt she needed support. I held her hand gently and told her that everything is going to be fine (That's probably the best support I can give). As time passes, she could be seen grasping for air as the contraction kicks in. At some point of time, the nurses had even checked with my wife what was the level of pain from 1 to 10, with 10 being the most painful. Most of the time, I could only hear her uttering 3 but I knew from her facial expression that it is getting unbearable. I reckon she has a high threshold of pain and such was her unfaltering wish not to have any pain relief intervention. As time passes, each and every contractions was getting nearer and before we knew it, it was already 11pm. Time flies. Back then, I was constantly reminding her to focus on taking deep breaths and to be aware and mindful of each and every sensations (I reckon the mindfulness practice has helped quite a bit). Apart from the laughing gas, we pretty much depend on breathing techniques to ease the pain. Hours became minutes, and minutes became seconds. Before we knew it, the nurses started to yell "Get the Doc in now!" That was it. I knew it should be near to 9cm dilated now and I can tell from my wife's reaction that the pain is getting more intense. Just as I have thought, the nurses began to move in an accelerated fashion, getting some stuff ready and then told me that my wife is going to give birth any time soon. After which I saw Dr Adrian stepped in casually, wearing a tee, berms and slippers. His expression is something that I am very familiar with, literally with little or no expression. As per Dr Adrian style, he started his modus operandi calmly and before we knew it, Abby was out! In fact, both me and my wife thought that it was pretty smooth for us, as Abby was delivered in less than 8 minutes after Dr Adrian stepped into the delivery suite. There was a sense of relief as I can see from my wife's face. Abby was then subsequently brought forward to be placed on Mummy's tummy while Dr Adrian proceed to stitch (we have all heard rave reviews on his topnotch stitching skills!). He was really fast, as he congratulate us before we start to have some quiet moments during the magic hour, one of the most amazing time for family bonding right after birth. We have also tried to let Abby latch for the first time, and we were so happy that Abby took the first milk (also known as colostrum) during the initial skin to skin contact!

One day later, my wife shared with me that she literally felt Abby slide out of her, and she told me that she has only pushed for 1-2 times. We were unsure which of the methods (or all these methods?) helped, but we are happy to share three methods that we think really helps! One of them is definitely the breathing techniques. In fact, we had put in some efforts to meditate for at least 5-10 minutes on a daily basis (on some occasions no because we were just too tired) and the approach is simple. We meditate on Loving Kindness (Metta), wishing for all to be well and happy, healthy and strong, especially for Abby and all our family members. I think it is very important for the husband (and father-to-be) to constantly remind the spouse to breathe and be aware of the present moment. There will be pain and it is very painful, but I kept reminding her constantly to breathe so as to ease the pain. Secondly, we believed that walking in nature probably helps. We spend quite a fair bit of time walking on the grass patches at the stadium, and we even hike/run at the nature reserve (Bukit Timah Hill, Mac Ritchie Reservoir, Fort Canning Hill, etc). In fact, my wife was still leisurely jogging at Mac Ritchie one week before Abby was born! Last but not least, we thought that the old wives tales of drinking young coconut water actually helps in the smooth delivery (somehow).

According to our initial plan, we have only packed the bare minimum for our 3 days 2 nights stay at Thomson Medical Centre. As usual, I packed like I was going for a short camping trip while my wife brought a few stuff, since we knew most of the essentials would be provided during our stay there. And yes, we were indeed very lucky to have our room upgraded to the Super Deluxe Suite since there were no more premium single rooms available then. I remembered it was around 2am when the nurse told us about this upgrade. We were literally loss for words and we kept thinking that Abby has brought us good luck. Looking back, the memories of the 'magic hour' was amazing and these memories were still vivid in my thoughts! I would strongly recommend all couples to make arrangements for this amazing family time (at least an hour) after the delivery process. You should speak to your Gynaecologist and the nurses prior to the actual delivery because most of them would be happy to let you stay in the delivery suite for a while. I would also strongly encourage mothers (or even fathers) to make skin to skin contact directly after birth and try breastfeeding for the first time. Reason being that the endorphins are high and it is likely that the colostrum is readily available for the baby to latch and consume. Colostrum also has a mild laxative effect, which probably trigger Abby to pass her first stool (which is called meconium) in such a short time.

Experience aside, I would also like to post a disclaimer. I understand that every couples had their own beliefs and different set of birth plan, and I strongly believe that everyone of us want to the best for our babies and also our spouses at the end of the day, but please also be aware that as much as we have our own plans, at the end of the day, it is the baby who dictates (or rather writes) the birth plan. There is absolutely no right and no wrong in deciding between natural birth or a cesarean delivery, because it really depends on how strong your belief, your values and also many other factors which include your age, your body, your nutrition, your state of mind at that point of time (especially when you are in such distress!). But both me and my wife personally find that the natural birth experience incredibly powerful, emotional and moving in a way that probably a cesarean would not be able to offer.

Gynaecologist

The selection of our Gynaecologist was simple. Three things. Our Gynaecologist, Dr Adrian Woodworth was recommended by my best friend from secondary school and I trusted him. Secondly, Dr Adrian is very much suited to our style, as both of us were introverts and we don't talk much. Perhaps you can search for his review and see for yourself. One thing I liked about Dr Adrian is his no nonsense approach. No jibber jabber. No idle banter. No superfluous talk. He don't spend much time talking about the peripheral stuff, and his consultation is often short and point blank. If you are one whom seek tender loving care and speech, then he is not for you. Be prepared to hear these from him if you decided to opt for Dr Adrian Woodworth - "Heart beating, leg ok, hand ok, everything ok, any questions? Most of our consultations usually last no more than 3 minutes and we liked it, because it means everything is okay and there are no problems. And of course the waiting time is shorter for obvious reasons. Last but not least, his package is considered to be one of the cheapest (if not the cheapest in town). In fact, we actually started to get his package (it was $815.90 then?) by the end of first trimester and if I am not mistaken, we have visited him for more than 10 consultations and we are still visiting him postpartum with no additional consultation fees as now.

Hospital

I know! We were once in your shoes, trying to figure out everything about giving birth in private hospitals. In fact, we only have two choices which is Mount Alvernia Hospital and Thomson Medical Centre as Dr Adrian only deliver in these two hospitals. And that means it is even easier for us to make our decision in a short period of time. It was Thomson Medical Centre, no doubt about it. You can do your own research and you will find out that Thomson Medical Centre is reputed as one of the best maternity hospital in town. We have also signed up for the hospital tour one month before the expected due date, and we were convinced by our choice. We want both Abby and Mummy to receive the best treatment at Thomson Medical Centre, and we have no regrets! Thomson Medical Centre has a wide range of facilities suited for mothers and babies, and they understand the evolving needs of families. And of course, we love it that Thomson Medical Centre is pro breastfeeding and they have a team of lactation consultants always ready to provide valuable advice to newbies like us. And yes we were indeed very lucky that Thomson Medical Centre is having their 40th year anniversary this year and we had 40% discount for the room rates! We are just super grateful and thankful to Dr Adrian Woodworth, Dr Allyson Tan, all the nurses and staff whom had took good care of us during our stay. It has been an awesome experience for us! Thanks Thomson Medical Centre! 

Bills

Lady luck was shining on us, and this luck has carried on even after Abby was born. First and foremost, we spend less time in the delivery suite as Abby came out of Mummy's womb pretty fast! The nurse on duty later informed me that all the premium single rooms were full, and we have got a free upgrade to the Super Delux Suite for the price of the premium single room. On top of that, there was also a 40% discount (as part of Thomson's 40th year anniversary) for room charges. If there were no discount and no free upgrade, we were supposed to pay SGD$2615 for accommodation, but the actual accommodation was SGD$1002, meaning we saved a total amount of SGD$1613 for accommodation alone. In conclusion, the total hospital bill (excluding Dr Adrian fees) actually add up to a total of SGD$4998.97 (SGD$3000 Medisave + SGD$1998.97 Cash). Apart from that, we have also paid SGD$2568 on 25 Feb 2019 at Thomson Women's Clinic for the doctor's fee.

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Nutrition

This is going to be a long list, so we would probably pen down more details at a later stage for those whom are interested to have a safe, healthy and fun pregnancy. We would strongly recommend you to go whole food plant-based if you are interested and keen to give it a go. Tried and tested, we were convinced that our balanced diet has all the nutrition we need to go through this arduous yet fulfilling journey. In fact, both of us have been plant-based vegan for almost a decade and it has been one of the best decisions made in our lives. Cruelty-free, environmentally-friendly and compassionate lifestyle. Of course, we know that nutrition is not all-encompassing and we would strongly encourage pregnant women to be a little bit more active during the entire journey. So it's good to exercise and walk more often when you plan to conceive. We actually walked, jogged and swam throughout the pregnancy, and we have also traveled quite a fair bit during the entire pregnancy, 6 trips in total. 7 for me as I went Sabah without my wife to complete the 100km TMBT trail run. My wife had also power hiked up and down Elephant Mountain & Thumb Mountain in the middle of the first trimester while we were in Taiwan. To sum it up, I reckon we ate quite a lot of fruits, legumes, leafy greens, nuts and seeds for all the 3 trimesters, and she had never experienced the common symptoms such as nausea, fatigue, bloating, motion sickness, heartburn, high blood pressure and gestation diabetes. In addition, I have also bought 3 types of supplements for her - and that is Vitamin B12, Algae Omega-3 & Vitamin D3. And as of now, Abby will be exclusively breastfeed for as long as we can. Like all mammals, a human mother produces milk for the sole purpose of nourishing her baby. Likewise, a female cow's milk is for their calves, and not meant for humans. And that is why we choose breastfeeding and why we choose to be a vegan plant-based family.

In retrospect, we have decided to pen these thoughts down so that it will remain fresh in our memories for a long time and when Abby grow up, we can share these stories with her and educate her why we have decided to go plant-based and the reason why we decided to raise her up as a plant-based baby. We know this is uncommon in Singapore, but I also strongly believe that compassion and empathy are core values that should be instilled at a young age. All life deserves respect, dignity, and compassion. If we could live a happy and healthy life without harming other, why wouldn't we? Sometimes, it’s not hard to make decisions once you know what your values are. Hence, we are proud to say that we were successful in having a plant-based pregnancy since conception. Thank you and we are very grateful that Abby has come into our lives to join us in our practice towards Buddhahood.