Travelling

Travel is not a checklist exercise.

When we travel as a family, we are not simply taking a break from our family routine. We are stepping into a new classroom every time we explore a new city or town. Every country, city, and street becomes a new place of learning without walls, filled with unexpected lessons.

Our kids learn by asking, doing, seeing, thinking, walking, exploring, trying, and tasting new cuisines. They gradually discover that not everyone speaks the same language, eats the same food, or lives the same way. Through new flavors, unfamiliar streets, places of interest and different cultures, they begin to understand that life is not lived in a vacuum. The world is beautiful in its diversity, and there is definitely no single way to live, dress, or behave.

For us as parents, travel is also a good reminder that time spent exploring, getting lost, laughing through missteps, navigating delays and faux pas, and discovering new things together is far more valuable than anything money can buy. Traveling especially with young children is always messy and exhausting. It is rarely smooth, but it is real, raw, and truly unforgettable. It teaches patience, flexibility, and gratitude at a depth that no toy ever could.

At the end of the day, it is not all  the souvenirs that matter the most, but it is the stories, pictures, memories, growth, and conversations we continue to hold close to our hearts. Travel is not an escape. For us, it is "outdoor education" for our children, and for our family as a whole. Our kids may not remember all the toys we bought, but they will remember the indoor playgrounds in Kuala Lumpur, the Vegetarian Festival in Jakarta, the peach tea at Phúc Long in Ho Chi Minh City, and the countless mango sticky rice treats (Abby’s favorite!) in Bangkok .

It has brought us closer as a family, and I am deeply grateful that we managed to squeeze in at least 10 family trips last year, just before Abby starts Primary School tomorrow.

Kids

It’s not easy to raise kids without a village.

No babysitters. No helpers. No maid. No dishwashers. No car. No luxury.

It’s basically only the two of us. Just the 2 of us. Just me and my spouse. Week in. Week out. Every day. Every night. Every single waking moment. We make all the meals, we change the diapers, we clean the messes, and we also carry the weight of responsibilities since day 1.

We move in and we move out, not always gracefully, but always with the right intent. Always with unconditional love. Always with the right understanding that we’re in this together. We are the village. The safety net. The middle-of-the-night shift and then the morning chaos crew. No back up plans. No easy way out. It’s not easy. It’s a lot of work and not a lot of breaks. But we have built something steady. We cried, we argue, we laughed at one another, but we always figured it out as we go. For sure, we are tired. But we are showing up each and every time. Every single time. For our kids. For ourselves. For our family. For our future.

So here’s to the ones doing it without the crowd. We might be the rare species. The ones who have somehow figured it out along the way. The hard way. The ones making it work with what you have. And realizing what you have is actually everything that you need. Because even without a village, we’re still raising something beautiful. Something that we can be proud of.

We are the parents of 2 lovely kids born under 7 years old and we have survived 7 years balancing babies, kids, life, love, hobbies and our career without a village. The best part is that we still manage to pivot towards what we really like to do and excel in our careers.

2021

A New Year is coming.

And we are still unaware of what is coming ahead :)

Travel

No travel for this year and probably the next few years..

I am okay with that, and I can live with that.

Can you?

Running

I have been slacking quite a bit since Abby was born, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic. From leisure jogging to long distance running, from hiking to trail running, I have gradually developed my love for this cardiovascular sport. And also one of the sport activity that requires very little investment and effort to keep oneself fit and healthy. At least if you only run on a leisure basis and do not indulge too much into running events (unless you are addicted to collecting medals and dri-fit tees).

Goodie bags! Yes, I am talking about the mostly useless stuff found in all goodie bags (except for the bib). The struggle is real. The structure of races are also changing, but some stuff still remain omnipresent (and will be for the next 100 years).

It's that simple.

Ghost

Ghost Festival.

This is a long awaited post which I had always wanted to revisit.

To be more precise, I am referring to the Chinese Seventh month in Singapore (or some parts of Asia where the majority of Chinese are still following this tradition). As usual, this write-up would definitely triggered some negative views on circumnavigating tradition and the whatnots but I think we should also question both the validity and objectives of practicing such 'meaningless' rituals (that has been passed down from generations after generations). I am not totally against it though, but I would relate more to the Ullambana Festival (rather than the Ghost Festival). Differences? Yes of course, but it's going to be too much to type here.

I believed some of you may behave the same way as how I used to in the past, constantly asking and questioning the significance and dynamics of having such a festival, albeit no definite and concrete answer ever provided to satisfy our curiosity (or at least the scientific aspect of it). Nowadays, I can see that the younger generation either lamented why they are participating in such activities or they just follow on auto-pilot. As a matter of fact, the classic reply was always not to question too much so that ill fortune would not befall on oneself and the families. This may work in the past (especially for non intellectuals) but I don't think our society is willing to follow blindly these days. 

Slow

Take it easy, my friend

The key is to slow down. It has been 15 months since Abby came into our lives. From being a first time parent to trying things out one at a time. There were so many things we have attempted  and experienced for the first time (both as a parent and as an individual). I must admit that it was not easy in the beginning but we have not only learnt to go easy but to go slow. Housework, hygiene, health, none of it has a time limit. If you are willing to slow down, everything will get done. It goes so much faster than you can possibly imagine. I believe there will come a time when my wife will miss nursing and pooping at the same time and we might miss even the most intense tears and screams that come from our beautiful baby. They cling to you for such a short time. Embrace it. It's such a special time. Just go slow and prioritize what is truly important for your family. Nothing is more important than this time. A decade will pass by and many regrets and guilty feelings could have come and vanished. My mantra is to go easy, go slow and not delve too much on the regrets.

Coincidentally, I have recently picked up this book from the National Library which is very applicable for me, and that is "Superior Bare Minimum Parenting". While it does not really ask you to go slow, but it provided the most pragmatic advice and that is to turn your child into a functional adult with only a fraction of time and effort. I believe that if you do it right, your kid will be no better or worse off than any other kids out there. And it turns out, while you spend lesser time and effort, you can literally go slow (due to the lesser time spent). Sometimes we just put so much pressure on ourselves to make the most perfect choice for kids and we are so bothered by what people think of us and the choices we make (hello parent shamers out there!). My advice is to chill and go easy on yourself, because there is no perfect parenting books out there. Every kid is different and do not get too fixated on new age parenting or social media these days. Do what you think is best for your kid and learn to go slow.

Life should be simple.

Because it is simple.

Elections

Singapore General Elections 2020

Yup this must be one of the hottest topic in 2020 (if you are staying or living in Singapore), apart from the fact that we are still in the middle of the pandemic. Interestingly the incumbent decided to call for an election during this period of uncertainty and we will be heading for the ballot boxes soon. Well the hype is almost gone (but not the pandemic). There are quite a few observations seen during this election in the history of Singapore. For the better or worst, we will find out. Anyway, let's hope that the pandemic will be over soon by the end of this year.

In the meantime, stay safe and healthy :)

Facebook

Facebook. What a waste of time.

Wait a minute. Before that, we had BBS, mIRC, ICQ, AOL, MSN and then Friendster. Of course the list goes on. Fast forward to the current state. We not only have Facebook (here to stay?), although it seems like it is still one of the most popular social media platform as compared to the likes of Instagram, Youtube or even TikTok. And not forgetting Whatsapp WeChat and Twitter. Hey! how about LINE and Telegram? And yes, what happened to Snapchat?

We have evolved from text to network, from network to pictures, from pictures to videos and so on. Socializing. Social media. Socializing online (since time immemorial). It just gets bigger and bigger, choices aplenty. And we are forever stuck in this rigmarole of 'socializing' for the sake of socializing or we are (actually) getting addicted to socializing? Of course, the optimists would lean towards the educational aspect but seriously how much time has been wasted on social media? Let's be frank and honest about it. All because of FOMO? Or should we JOMO?

I had personally quit Facebook more than 1 decade ago and there were no regrets. I just find it useless and totally disruptive. Do I miss Facebook? How can I get the latest news? And how am I going to contact my friends? These are just the standard list of questions that people ask me, at least for the past 1 decade for those who were shocked to find out that I do not have Facebook. Basically as time goes by, I got tired of answering them so I just said.

Facebook (or probably any other social media platform) is basically..

Noise.

Mylk

Mylk is the new norm these days.

So what exactly is mylk? Mylk is actually plant-based milk. It is an alternative word spelled in this manner to describe plant derived "milks", and the sources are aplenty these days. They can come from soy, almonds, coconuts, peanuts, cashew, hemp, sesame, etc. As of today, there are significantly more varieties of mylks that can be made or purchased in stores than there are varieties of milks from animals that humans consume these days.

In fact, mylk has gained a lot of popularity in recent years due to the awareness on the disadvantages of consuming cow's milk. Cow’s milk is the root cause for a whole host of autoimmune disorders from type 1 diabetes to eczema, asthma, etc. And the number 2 most harmful food will be eggs as it is considered to be one of the highest source of dietary cholesterol and we do not need any additional cholesterol since our bodies produces just enough for healthy function. Any additional cholesterol will just cause clogging of the arteries.

My kid was plant-based vegan since conception as both me and wife were already adopting a plant-based lifestyle for almost a decade. She is well and happy, healthy and strong. Breast milk plays a big part in the beginning for her nutrition needs, and we have also eventually use plant-based formula as part of the nutrition plan. Children (and adults!) seriously don’t need cows (dairy) milk or eggs. In fact, it’s actually not healthy for them.

WFH

The recent situation has allowed most of us to reflect on how we work.

And the best part, more than 1/2 the population is working from home (WFH) at this moment while I am writing this article. A few weeks of working from home has convinced me that this would probably be the best time to reflect on the mode of working in Singapore as I understand that telecommuting has not been common in the past.

I understand that this would never be universal as remote working is obviously not applicable to all industries, but COVID-19 or not, we can clearly see that telecommuting may be alien to some of the folks here but it is clearly do-able (of course with strict discipline). After all, it's all about meeting key performance indicators (KPI) at the end of the day, onsite or offsite.

If we trace back to a report by the Ministry of Manpower (MOM) in 2018, we would also see tell tale signs that most of the working force in Singapore would prefer a flexible work time and this is indicative that remote working is here to stay as long as business go on as usual and all the mechanisms of the business is up and running, both front end and back end.

Remote working would also reduce the time spent on daily commute, giving you more time for family and business. And most importantly, we hear this phrase for the longest time ever - Happy workers are good workers! Who wouldn't like to focus on what they are doing best and in the ideal environment that they prefer. Indeed, this would also increase the productivity level as they can skip all the small talk and focus on what is really important.

Having said that, there is a minor percentage that prefers to socialize, mingle and gossip at the office pantry. They find it extremely difficult to work at home facing the lifeless screen from morning til late afternoon. Yes there are people who need constant human interaction through the day to keep them energized and they would find it a torture not to have such face to face interactions. But I am not proposing for a similar model as what we are facing now during Continuous Circuit Breaker (CCB)! 1-2 days working from home would suffice and I believe that this would be beneficial and productive for both company and employee.